Starting over after divorce isn’t easy. Heartbreak can lead you down a road that is not familiar, especially a heartbreak that crushed your soul. It is a time of darkness that feels overwhelming as you begin to realize your hopes and dreams vanished with the end of your relationship or marriage. Not only did your relationship with your ex end, but you may have lost friends and even family in the process.
Looking at heartbreak as an awakening to how you have been living your life up until this experience can be the beginning of a lonely trek.
I felt I experienced a true spiritual awakening the night I discovered my ex-husband was having an affair. I felt that everything I had been hiding from myself and the world burst out of me as if I hit a brick wall. Everything I had been afraid to confront was there in full view.
Thus began a journey into the deepest parts of myself. I began questioning everything and everyone that was in my life. It did not happen all at once, but over a period of time. I began questioning my beliefs about life with an intensity that was unstoppable. I knew there were beliefs within that “created” the circumstances I now found myself in.
I have talked with many women who have found this to be a very lonely time in their lives. In fact, most said being alone was the hardest part of the breakup or divorce not only because they lost their partner or spouse, but other relationships fell apart as well. Not only did you “lose” your partner, but couple friends may have disappeared, your ex’s family may have disappeared and/or you lost your own friends who are still married.
There is also a period you may go through that you begin to unearth all your own patterns and how you relate to others. This causes a lot of inner turmoil because you may have to redefine relationships with close family members and/or lifelong friends. You may lose lifelong friendships as you realize it was one-sided or an otherwise unhealthy connection and you never noticed until you Starting Over After Divorc in your life.